How To Make Money

Niels Steeman

Great Way To Make Money

I just had to share this. I have found a great new way to make money. My friends are always wondering how to get more greenbacks, especially if no actual work is involved!

A foreign gentleman phoned me at lunchtime to say that he was ringing from the health service, to help me get compensation for an accident I, or someone else in my household, had had within the last five years. Interesting. My last accident was breaking a nail when opening a bottle of wine, but I don’t remember claiming for it on insurance. I must be getting old and doddery! I just let him keep talking and eventually gave him some details of what might be an accident. I eventually got tired of this and said I had to go out and then hung up.

Later that day, another foreign gentleman phoned about the same incident. He wanted more details in order to send me the cheque for the large amount of money to which the member of my household was entitled. I rambled on about Charlie getting whiplash from a car accident when someone drove into the back of my car, though we didn’t go to the Emergency room.

‘Ah,’ said the foreign gentleman, ‘then it was up the backside, was it?’

I had to cover the phone at that point while I stifled a laugh which turned into a cough.

‘Well,” I said, wiping my eyes “I suppose you could say that.”

‘Oh’, said the foreign gentleman, ‘Charlie will be so happy when he gets the cheque for all this money for someone going up his backside, isn’t he?

”Yes’, I said again, in a rather strangled voice. “He definitely will be!”

I just hope there’s no such address as 2351 Song Road, Berbly (Yes, Berbly!).

I must get Charlie’s mobile off him in case they ring him to check the story’s true! His purring might show how pleased he is.

Charlie is my CAT!


t shirt with caption

Favourite t shirt

Isn’t it just great when you are free as a bird and don’t HAVE to do anything? But if you have empty moments in your life, how about filling them with a … PASTIME?

Some of you may feel that you already have enough in your life with activities such as photography, knitting, cooking, crocheting, feeding the piranhas, watching paint dry, but TRUST ME –you will need a PASTIME that can offer hours of amusement, especially if you don’t want to be used as a child minder / taxi service by your offspring / grandchildren / neighbours!

Why not become a film critic?

I recently went to see ‘Meet Me in St Louis’, starring Judy Garland, and the screening was well attended – mainly by people who were old enough to have seen the film when it was originally shown in 1945.
Basically, the plot revolves around Judy Garland and her sisters who lead a lovely, comfortable, upper-middle class existence in St Louis at the turn of the 20th century in the year leading up to the World’s Fair to be held in 1904. (I assume the World’s Fair is rather like the World Series in baseball, where no one else other than the US takes part.) Judy and her elder sister have their eyes on two young men whom they hope to marry, although the young men in question know nothing of these plans. The story takes us through the seasons of 1903 from summer (sunny), through autumn (sunny but with fewer leaves on the trees) to winter (sunny but with snow) and eventually into spring of 1904 (sunny with lots of flowers). There are lots of parties and jolly japes, plus a rather creepy Halloween scenario where the youngest daughter proves to be a bit of a madam who throws flour into the face of a neighbour (she also likes burying dolls in the garden and chopping the heads off snowmen) and the local children, totally unaccompanied by any responsible adult, build a bonfire in the middle of the street. This is a ‘feel-good’ film with a happy ending.

Watching films and writing about them on your blog will keep you far too busy for anyone to dare ask you to run errands or drive them anywhere.